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Open Preview See a Problem? Details if other :. Thanks for telling us about the problem. Return to Book Page. Rhena Branch. We all have aspects of ourselves that we would like to change, but many of us believe that a leopard can't change its spots - if that's you, stop there! Cognitive Behavioural Therapy for Dummies will help identify unhealthy modes of thinking - such as "a leopard can't change it's spots"!
CBT can help whether you' We all have aspects of ourselves that we would like to change, but many of us believe that a leopard can't change its spots - if that's you, stop there! CBT can help whether you're seeking to overcome anxiety and depression, boost self-esteem, lose weight, beat addiction or simply improve your outlook in your professional and personal life.
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Lists with This Book. Community Reviews. Showing Average rating 3. Rating details. More filters. Sort order. Start your review of Cognitive Behavioural Therapy for Dummies. Feb 02, Ian "Marvin" Graye rated it liked it Shelves: cul-poli-phil-art , read , reviews , reviewsstars. I will try to integrate what I learned into how I think and live my life. The book is well-structured, well-written and easy to understand. CBT cognitive behavioural therapy argues that our thinking informs and shapes our behaviour, and that flaws in our thinking often the product of poor self-esteem can distort our behaviour.
This in turn has a detrimental effect on our self-esteem, which co A Practical Toolkit for Living, Liking and Loving I found this book insightful and learned a lot from it. This in turn has a detrimental effect on our self-esteem, which completes a vicious cycle of misguided behaviour. The book argues that we can correct our behaviour by correcting our thinking.
If it has a defect, it is that it tends to be repetitious. However, this is a result of the stylistic choice to design and define an abstract toolkit, before applying it to specific issues and problems that we confront in real life. The repetition therefore reinforces our understanding of the toolkit and our ability to apply it practically.
Valuable Advice Any person who seeks to benefit from the CBT toolkit will probably have to dovetail it into a system of abstract core values that they might have developed over a long period of time. This can be a barrier to the process. The starting point of my personal and political philosophy is that we are individuals.
However, we form relationships with others in the personal, family, social, work and political spheres. Our first duty and relationship is to our self. However, we then enter into a zone or space between us and others. In any of these zones, we can be nervous, cautious, earnest, serious, relaxed, rigid, flexible, spontaneous, playful, flirtatious, exuberant, private, open, careful, careless.
We assert, argue, persuade, charm, play, flirt, seduce, compromise, cooperate, agree, consummate, like, love, respect, value, care, nurture. The nature of our relationships is not static. As we get to know somebody, our relationship can change, improve and loosen up. For any relationship to become more relaxed and spontaneous, it needs to be built on the foundation of certainty.
This can only come with some level of mutuality and confidence in the relationship. The desire for certainty and spontaneity needs to be reciprocated. It's a two way street. It needs two people to be committed. It needs to be based on some shared desire or values.
The hard part is determining whether we share this desire and these values. We can only find out by asking and talking about it. We can't find out by denying an arena for the discussion or failing to respond to questions. In fact, when you cut off communication, you are making a strong case that there is no shared foundation.
Harmony and Me are Pretty Good Company In the western world, we tend to approach our other relationships from the perspective of individualism. Within the political framework of liberty, equality and fraternity, we tend to emphasise our individual freedom. Unlike the East, we tend to downplay fraternity or what can also be described as harmony.
However, harmony is at the heart of our relationships with others. CBT is concerned with the impact of these relationships on individuals. However, it doesn't address the issues or problems in the political language of rights and obligations. It examines them from an individual personal perspective. It assumes that we act selfishly in our own self-interest. Similarly, it assumes that others in our lives act in their own self-interest. It doesn't assume that harmony is the natural order.
Instead, it assumes that we might act at cross-purposes, and that problems will arise when our self-interest pulls us in opposite directions. That doesn't mean that other people actually dislike or hate us.
They might just be totally neutral about us. If they fail to like or love us, it doesn't mean that there is anything wrong with us. We just have to learn how to cope or deal with it.
The important thing is that we not undermine our own self-esteem, because somebody else fails to display respect, affection or love. It recognises that many of our problems are caused by the way we draw inferences from circumstances or the behaviour of others. It uses a simple A, B, C approach. A is the circumstance or behaviour that concerns us, while C is our emotional response to it.
B is the inference we draw from A. It causes our emotional response in C. Almost inevitably, our self-esteem problems derive from the fact that we draw just one inference and it is the most negative. So CBT's solution is simply to get us to logically draw additional inferences. Just by virtue of having other options to explain A, we can minimise or manage the tendency to draw the most negative inference.
This solution has a simple appeal. However, it reflects a faith in rationality. In effect, it asks us to be more rational in how we deal with our emotions. While I agree with this approach, to some, it must be paradoxical. Reason and Emotion My personal life challenge has been how to get reason and emotion to sit happily in the one person, how to let them work as a three-legged race, rather than always be at loggerheads.
I have been professionally trained in logic and analysis. I had to think of all of the possibilities, weigh them up dispassionately and facilitate a decision. Note that I say that I had to facilitate a decision. The decision was usually not mine, it was a client's.
I am in the business of giving advice; the client has to make the decision. Good Judgement Very early in my professional life, I realised that clients want you to make their decision easy for them.
They want you to recommend a decision.