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By Tariq "K-Flex" Nasheed. The scene is typical of a Saturday night. Most of the very attractive women are just standing around, trying to act extra cute. And most of the guys are basically ignoring them. No one is mingling with these women at all.
I just happen to see a lady friend of mine that I have known for years, named Stacey. To be totally honest, Stacey sort of looks like a wet donkey with a weave. Stacey had men buying her drinks back to back. She had different men stepping to her asking her to dance.
She even had other women trying to buy her drinks and dance with her. So why did Stacey, who is average looking on a good day, have all those men in the club giving her so much attention, while the other, more attractive females were basically being ignored?
Other more attractive females in the club were trying too hard to present themselves in the best light.
These women were trying to look sophisticated. These women were trying to appear interesting. These women were trying to act confident.
Stacey was confident. Stacey was sophisticated. And Stacey was interesting. Many women will go to a social spot, and purposely act anti -social. Which completely defeats the purpose of going to a social setting.
But Stacey understood the basic, simple premise of going to a social place. She was there for the same reasons the men were there. She wanted to socialize. Stacey had a very bubbly, fun, and positive attitude whenever she went out, and this attitude compensated for her physical shortcomings.
Whenever I see her out at the clubs, she always offers to give me one of her drinks. Her very sexy attitude and confident demeanor make people comfortable whenever they are around her. Stacey knows how to get guys to come out of the pockets for her too. She has always had guys buying her gifts, paying for her trips. While other, more attractive women are sitting around, broke, relying on their looks to get them over, women like Stacey know how to rely solely on their game.
By the time you finish with Play or Be Played , you are going to know what women like Stacey know. And even though you might not want to use your knowledge to get guys to buy you gifts or take you on trips, you will be able to use this knowledge and game any way you please.
A few years ago, Stacey was just another insecure female with a lot of self-esteem issues and self-doubt, who constantly made bad choices in men. I did, and it changed her life. Now I know many of you ladies hate the term game. The first thing many women think of when they hear the word game is conning someone, deceiving someone, or doing something scandalous.
The reality is this. Having game, or not having game, can not only affect your relationship choices, it can affect every aspect of your life. We live in a society based on capitalism. The basic theory behind capitalism is people using and manipulating others for their own benefit. And capitalism affects every aspect of our lives. There will always be people trying to contribute to you or trying to con you. So it is imperative that you have game so you can peep where people are coming from.
The word game, in street terms, simply means intelligence, hustle, and common sense. And having game means being knowledgeable about every endeavor you choose to engage in. Again, since we live in a society founded on capitalism, this theory applies to every aspect of your life. And that employer might have you working extra hours without giving you adequate pay. That sales person will have you walking around looking like a hoochie Power Ranger, because you have no game.
Ironically, many women do have game in their lives except when it comes to dating. These women know how to get out there and hustle for the best jobs, the best education, the best deals at the mall, or the best medical plans. But when it comes to dating, many women choose to shut down all forms of logic, and just wish and hope for the best. Now ladies, before you can successfully administer game, you have to be de-programmed, and re-programmed. You have to be debriefed of all the misinformation that has been given to you.
One problem is that certain sectors of society have encouraged a head-in-the-sand mentality that many women have toward dating. Play or Be Played is a self-help guide for females who want to know the real deal about dating, and how men really think. This book will teach women how to screen guys, and what signs to look for in order to not get played.
What is unique about this book is that it is coming from the experiences of a former player and self-admitted mack. As a former hustler and player, it was my job to study women, and learn what made them tick. In the process, I learned a lot about myself and basic human behavior, especially when it came to interacting with the opposite sex.
But when I began appearing on all the television talk shows, and going on radio shows around the country, more women started buying the book than guys. To this day, I get thousands of letters and emails from women asking for my expertise on relationships, because many women have never heard a man break the game down like this before.
Some of the language and philosophies in this book may seem somewhat harsh at times, but I would be doing women a disservice to sugarcoat the truth. This mindset has become very detrimental in the so-called movement to empower women. By playing the role of a victim, people can waive responsibility for the consequences of their actions and choices. This book will help women understand how to avoid the victim role and how to make better choices when it comes to dealing with men.
Teaching women how to choose the right mate is really half the battle. When the average man realizes that he is not dating the right female, or the female he thought she was, he will sever the relationship or simply move on to another female. Visiting rooms at jails and prisons have so many girlfriends, wives, and baby mamas there on visiting day, you would think they are shooting a music video. But women justify staying in these dysfunctional relationships by claiming they were taught to be loyal, and to stand by their man no matter what.
This is a bunch of BS. Play or Be Played will explain the real reasoning behind this behavior. Play or Be Played will be a self-help guide for women, showing them how to identify some of the reasons why they have made so many poor dating decisions. Play or Be Played will give women an opportunity to be honest with themselves and identify and rectify certain negative qualities they may possess.
So I have compiled a Chickenhead Test on p. Relationship books, especially for black women, like to approach the subject from a spiritual point of view. When you have real relationship issues, you need real solutions to those issues. I often hear women who have been in a number of dysfunctional or failed relationships say things like I have terrible luck with men.
They have bad strategies when it comes to dealing with men. But you can control your strategies when looking for a potential mate, and sitting around wishing and hoping for Mr. You have to acquire some game and dating techniques so you can make your chances of finding Mr. Right more of a reality.
So ladies, if you want a brotha to tell you what you want to hear, so that you can feel good temporarily, I suggest you put Play or Be Played down, and go pick up a Brian McKnight CD. Now I know many of you ladies might ask, "Tariq, what are your credentials?
How are you qualified to tell women about themselves? How are you able to give women advice on dating and relationships? I have lived the mack lifestyle. And most of the knowledge I have acquired over the years I learned from older professional street players and hustlers. I have found that the same principles that apply to man-woman relationships on a street level apply to man-woman relationships in the square or mainstream world.
Basically this book is offering you the truth. Many people are afraid to be completely honest with females, because oftentimes, the truth can be risky and offensive. I was appearing as a guest on this one talk show, discussing my philosophies on relationships, and one of the topics was How a women can please her man.
There were a couple of female authors on the panel who were trying to explain what men want, and how a woman can make them happy, and so on. These women were so off the mark, it was ridiculous. They were advising women to use all sorts of sex toys, scented powders, exotic oils, and bubble baths. One of the women on the panel actually advised women to use a dildo on their man if they want to get him aroused. As I looked around, I saw some of the male audience members cringing as they listened to the nonsense coming from these female experts.
If you want to please us, just give us oral sex and food. The men in the audience erupted into applause. The women on the panel were flabbergasted. One of the female panelists replied, Well, some men like these sexual accessories.
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Account Options Sign in. Tariq Nasheed Tariq Nasheed is a author, documentary film producer, media personality, satirist, Internet radio host, relationship expert, and social commentator, focusing on the psychology of dating and African-American social history. He has been quoted on a wide array of issues, including race relations, intimate relationships and infidelity, and U.
Nasheed has also been a regular speaker on college campuses on the topics of sex and relationships. Nasheed produced the documentary film Hidden Colors, on the history of African and aboriginal peoples.
The film had a limited theatrical release around the United States before being made available on DVD. See more. The Mack Within. Tariq Nasheed. Tariq "K-Flex" Nasheed. Got Game? It's a fact. Every woman needs game. All three of these women have the one intangible quality that every mack, male or female, must possess: they all have game.
In other words, they have intelligence, hustle, and common sense that they apply to every aspect of their lives -- especially in their relationships. Play or Be Played is an instruction manual for women who are tired of being played by men and who want to be players themselves. Though women may not want to play games, the truth is men often do. So women who hope to win in the game of love must first learn the rules. Bestselling author and true mack, Tariq "K-Flex" Nasheed shares: ways to spot a scrub what it takes to get with a baller why men cheat how men really judge women the top three mistakes women make in relationships Street-smart and straightforward, Play or Be Played will help you get with a king without being a hoochie, groupie, or a chickenhead.